Day 10

Something you're afraid of

Hi sweeties <3

I'm sorry for being late but after work I went to vienna straight away and my boyfriend and me went shopping together. When we came home I was so exhausted that I just lay down and fell asleep.

So here's yesterdays post!

The one thing I'm most afraid of is failure. It doesn't really matter what it exactly is I just hate failing. Whether it's a test, work, or simple things like make up and hair. I just hate it. I want to do everything as good as I can. Be perfect.

This all has left me with a huge problem... Whenever I get really nervous before a test or something my stomach starts to go nuts. I get real bad cramps, can't eat anything I feel really miserable and in the worst case I even throw up for hours...
A few weeks before my A-levels I was diagnosed gastritis nervosa. I didn't eat much for over two weeks and when I finally felt strong enough to eat something I wasn't strong enough to keep it down. I lost about 6 kilogramms and felt really bad. I couldn't sleep and being awake was even worse. Since then it was never that bad again, but knowing that it could be like that again makes the whole situation even worse. Now I'm not only afraid of failing but also of my stomach going crazy again :/ The only thing I can really do is try to stay as calm as possible and of course take pills that help relax my stomach.

Is there anything you are really afraid of? Let me know!

Love, M.